If there are two or more children in the family, how to make each child understand that parents are not biased - seems to be an easy task. Many parents hope to raise their children fairly. However, sometimes the concept of "fairness" is deliberately emphasized, but it has an opposite effect on children. So, how to do it is more conducive to the growth of children?
Parents must learn to transfer topics
Sometimes, parents can shift the focus from the comparison between children to the child's personal needs. For example, when a child complains that his brother has more breakfast than him, maybe he just wants to tell his mother that he is really hungry!
Of course, not all unfairness is easily solved. However, children inevitably experience a lesson: life is not always full of fairness. Therefore, when parents say to their children, "Next time, it's your turn," there is nothing wrong with it.
In order to prevent children from making comparisons about routine issues, parents may wish to ask their children to develop a settlement plan: mark their tasks and activities with different colored markers, or use the calendar for tracking. In addition, another solution may be to ask the child directly: What do you want to do?
When parents are happy to share, parents do not praise them. For example, tell the children: Dad is very happy that you can play toys and sister together.
Parents need to learn smart answers
First of all, there is no correct answer to this question. Because every child is different, and each parent uses different voices, intonations, and words. Therefore, when parents are faced with such problems, they need to understand each of their children as much as possible. They have unique features, including their gender, age, personality, abilities and emotions.
Here are some of the possibilities for answering:
If the child is mature enough and has a strong sense of humour, then answer this question: “Oh my God! The same proportion of love for both of you makes Mommy and Dad crazy.†But be careful to avoid misunderstandings for this joke.
Another way to answer is to pause. When parents don’t immediately reply, the child may have spoken first, including providing clues that prompt them to ask questions, or telling their own views on the issue.
Parents can also repeat this question and ask the children: What do you think? The child will "help" parents to say what he thinks the answer.
Parents give children confidence
If a younger child in the family feels capable, such as reading, painting, and sports, when his brother or sister is not good, the parents may tell him: "We know you really want to play the ball further, but wait until you grow up. You can do more hard work."
When parents see their children sad, they first need to use “mind†perceptual dialogues, and then through rational communication of “brainsâ€. Empathy should be put in the first place - let the child understand that he is deeply understood. Parents should avoid doctrinal teachings that are too dogmatic. Children need to feel empathy.
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